The end of your dreams.

Dear Brooke,

Your dreams won’t come true. They are just fantasies, perfectly crafted in your imagination and impossibly translatable into reality. Majority of what you say, followed by the apathetic filler phrase, “one day”, will never come true. Face the truth that all your hopes and desires of an ideal life is nothing but a sham. Like, as an example, your closet will never stay organized, even with a professional label maker in hand. And, the weird unstoppable energy that is specific mixture of frustration for dimwitted political commentary and your crux of constantly need to please others will predictable arise when you spend time with certain family members. Yeah, some things will ease or disappear throughout the course of your life, but new things will always replace them. It’s an endless cycle of challenges that are available to preoccupy and fuel your anxiety throughout your lifetime, as it has for all humankind. Your flaws will feel like you have internal evil stepsisters, who you try to ignore and/or control them, but have a knack for popping in at the wrong times. They’ve also created a nice cozy spot in your heart where dark motives like Fame and Glory like to hangout and throw ragers every once in awhile. In the end, the dreams that you created as you fall asleep will stay as flawless fictional memories.

I know. I just shattered every expectation you had about the not so distance future. You need to start lowering your expectations and get the idea of humble-bragging at your high school reunion out of your head. Is it a little harsh? A little demoralizing and hopelessly pessimistic? Probably. But, please, before you start giving up all hope and sign up for the night shift waitressing job at that shithole off the highway, let me explain why I am being so honest because I have a purpose.

Like the rest of your fellow mortals, in addition having an imperfect life now, you’re life with always be filled with should haves and mistakes. You can’t keep on pretending your future miraculously doesn’t have those same obstacles and regrets. It is a stupid, idiotic thing to believe that will leave you tired and disappointed. No one has been able to find that switch to turn off their flaws, so I doubt that you will, too. Instead, think of all the mishaps as progress. Once you make that shift, nothing ever seems truly wasted. I know. Revolutionizing, huh? That is what freedom feels like when you let your mistakes walk out of jail free.

Secondly, things take time. Everyone think they can accomplish a lifetime’s worth of achievements in a super focused couple of months, including you because you have that something special that can overcome any obstacles without breaking a sweat. How realistic is that? Seriously, if you think about your day to day life, you always make lists miles long each day, just so you don’t forget anything. Now, compare that to what you actually do in a day. They don’t match, with the second being way shorter than the first. Most importantly, don’t feel guilty about that, because life happens, even if you don’t schedule it; sleeping and eating gets in the way, not to mention your emotional needs, like social interaction and relaxation. You are a human first, then a self-proclaimed hero. In your mind, start shifting away from quantity and focus on quality of the things you do. That way, what you do is super f-ing awesome.

As a side note on your heroism, you don’t have to do it all. There are millions of others in the world who are also trying to do the right thing to make the world a better place. You are just a dot in a letter, in a sentence, on a page of a giant book of the world. You can’t do everything, and no one, but you, expects it. So, stop trying so damn hard.

Lastly, and here is the ultimate thing, the highlighted and circle worthy quote about those fantasies: They are not what you want.

They act like a glass of warm milk before you go to bed, which is soothing and make you feel warm and comforted, but rather they do more harm than good in your lactose intolerant body. They distract you from what you really want. They are influenced by the anonymous, but powerful ‘them’, who don’t have your interest in heart when making their rash decisions. It’s a game they like to play that uses your insecurities against you. Those bastards.

Additionally, the promises you made to yourself when you were a child came from a place of idolizing the Spice Girls and eating chicken nuggets every night. They were never meant to be written in stone for the purposes of making a good story for your future grandchildren. Despite societal pressure to decide what your life will be like at an early age, you need to do your own research, on your own time, and come to your own conclusions. And, even then, things change. Your life is heavily influenced by unforeseen actions and discoveries about yourself. It also doesn’t mean that you are any less successful because your younger self’s aspirations don’t come true. As long as what you are doing is helping to make your current ‘I hopes’ into reality, everything is all good with me.

That is where I come in. Hi there. I am your inner guidance. Also know as your muse, which makes you sound pretentious as hell, but whatever. You can call me whatever you want and I’ll be here to help to guide you throughout your life in what is actually going to make you happy, creatively fulfilled, sexy, confident, and (insert any great adjective here). I apologize for being so brash early. Though, I think it’s important to create a solid foundation to actually getting your shit together and start putting your words into action. Accepting that this now, by not mistaking those fantasies a possible reality, is the right thing to do to get you started.  

Here is my no bullshit promise to you, Brooke, in regards your future. I’ll be whisper to you where to go, every step of the way, directing you through the jungle of life. All the wonder and worries of “What will I do?”, I instantaneously know and tell you. It will be hard to explain the rationale towards why I make certain decisions, but you just have to trust me. Full heartedly surrender everything you got, emotionally, physically, and economically, and trust me. Because in the end, I will lead you through everything that you need to do to get you to there, wherever that might be. This includes those dead ends and shitty masterpieces you create (which again, try not to see as mistakes), and fighting the biggest devil himself, Fear. He is a bitch and acts like my conjoined twin. He will fight you every step of the way (because I think he made a shady deal with the them a long time ago).

I should warn you. I also have a quiet voice that can be easily overpowered by the excess noise. Just listen hard and ignore the others, because in the end the big thing is to never lose hope in me. Never. I don’t promise to make it easy.I promise to make you happy, which in turn, make your dreams come true.

Love,

Your Muse

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